There is a heaven, believe me, I've seen it
by badbadbadbad
Summary: Just little drabbles about Suzaku and Lelouch's relationship. Bad romance? They range from being funny to being depressing. Some shounen-ai and hints at yaoi. WILL BE ADDING MORE SOMETIMES.
1. Chapter 1

O1.

"Now repeat after me: Say-o-na-ra." Suzaku's voice could be heard throughout the house as he tried to teach Nunnally a few Japanese phrases. Lelouch's younger sister repeated them with hardly any flaw. "Sayonara."

Suzaku smiled even though she couldn't see. "Very good. That means 'goodbye'." Lelouch, who had been watching, let out a small sigh. He'd have to be saying 'sayonara' to all of his friends very soon.

O2.

"Suzaku! Gah, Suzaku, wait up!" Lelouch panted, trying to drag himself along behind the running eleven. "Hurry up, Lelouch! We're going to be late to the movie!" Suzaku called back, not even waiting for his boyfriend to catch up. Lelouch scowled and kept pushing himself forward. Suzaku had better make it up to him in the dark of the movie theater.

O3.

To Suzaku, Lelouch and Zero were two different people. No matter how many times it was stated that Lelouch Lamperouge was Zero, they would always be different. Lelouch was Lelouch, his lover, his best friend, his other half. Zero was Zero, the man who wore a mask, the monster that killed Euphie, and his most formidable enemy yet.

O4.

"Okay, it's rather dark in here…oh my god, what's that? Holy shit!" Lelouch, aghast, dropped the controller and scuttled away while Suzaku laughed. The new game he bought, _Amnesia_, proved to be an excellent way of scaring his friends.

O5.

The stress was unbearable. The Black Knights had lost their latest battle, and they were still recovering. Lelouch doubted that they would be ready for their next mission in time. He strode down Ashford's hallways, absorbed in his own thoughts, when a hand landed on his shoulder. "Hey, Lelouch, are you-" Lelouch snarled and smacked the hand away without realizing who it was.

There behind him was a very hurt looking Suzaku, who was holding his now injured hand. Lelouch's anger immediately faded to be replaced with guilt. "I'm sorry, Suzaku. I didn't know it was you." He gently took the eleven's bruised hand in his own, planting a small kiss on it. Suzaku felt instantly better.

O6.

_Sex._ What a vulgar term. That's what Lelouch called it every single time. But Suzaku preferred the term "making love". Because that's what they were doing, wasn't it?

O7.

"What?" Suzaku's green eyes were wide with shock while Lelouch laughed. "You didn't know that?"

"But I…" Suzaku looked down at his stomach, mildly upset. Lelouch stopped laughing and rolled his eyes. "Men can't have children, Suzaku. It's physically impossible."

O8.

Lelouch grit his teeth in frustration as he tried to undo some of his buttons. At any other given time, they were always easy to pop in and out of each buttonhole, but whenever it was in the heat of the moment, it seemed impossible.

Suzaku gave a little laugh and started to help him remove his shirt. "You're so impatient, calm down." The Brittanian prince sighed at his lover's easy-going personality.

Finally his shirt was off. Suzaku kissed him again, one hand on his waist and the other on the school council's table. The room was cleared of everyone…or so they thought.

"Ow!" Lelouch felt Suzaku wince and pull away, holding his bleeding finger. Arthur looked almost triumphant. "I'm going to have to get a band aid…" Suzaku rushed off, leaving Lelouch alone and very pissed off. He glared daggers at the cat. It was almost as if Arthur was jealous sometimes.

O9.

Blood. It soaked the front of Lelouch's robes, bleeding onto Suzaku as well. The pain was crippling, black tingeing the edge of his vision. The sword's cold metal blade felt foreign inside of his body, ripping along the edges of his heart. He was losing blood quickly. Words tumbled out of his mouth, much too quiet for anyone except for Suzaku to hear.

But if anyone else was close enough, they would've heard "I love you, Suzaku."

1O.

"Blink-182, Suzaku? Really?" The pair had been sitting in Lelouch's room, hanging out and just listening to their iPods. Lelouch was sitting on Suzaku's lap, now twisting around to give him a disapproving look. The eleven looked hurt. "What? I like their music." Lelouch sighed, getting up and replacing Suzaku's red iPod with his own silver one. He selected a song and walked back to his lover as the chorus rang out. "_I wanna fuck you hard, I wanna feel you deep…" _ He had picked "Sexting" by Blood on the Dance Floor. They proceeded to do exactly as the song was saying.

11.

Everyone else saw Emperor Lelouch Vi Britannia as a heartless, vile tyrant. His cruel violet eyes would gaze condescendingly down upon everyone else, his smile radiating absolute power.

But his knight was the only one who would see him cry at night, his eyes filled with tears that had been pent up for too long. He was the only one that would see him when he slept, dried tears still on his face, but the mask of the tyrant ruler gone, to be replaced with that of the outcast child prince he once knew so long ago.


	2. Chapter 2

12.

The mumbles about being an eleven at the Academy never bothered Suzaku much. Those constant glares from people, especially Nina, never really got to him. The fact that people stared at him in the halls his first couple days at school didn't make him uncomfortable. Suzaku did not mind being hated, because, in his mind, he deserved it. But what bothered him was the fact that Lelouch insisted that they be friends at school.

Lelouch was always like that, not caring what people thought.

Suzaku liked that about him, but sometimes it was embarrassing. Like when he had proudly declared he was gay and dating Suzaku.

13.

It was Friday the 13th. Lelouch never believed in such silly superstitions, and he wished Sayoko would stop telling Nunnally about them. Rarely a day passed when he wasn't hearing them talking about some sort of Japanese demon with a mouthful of sharp teeth or whatnot.

One day he had asked Suzaku if he believed in these Japanese tales and all the stupid superstitions, but the knight just laughed and told him they were going to be late to class.

Lelouch got his answer shortly when Suzaku nearly had a heart attack after he walked under a ladder.

14.

On the day of the Zero Requiem, Lelouch and Suzaku didn't say a word to each other. They both got out of bed after spending one last night together, got dressed, and each prepared themselves.

Just as Suzaku was about to don the Zero mask, Lelouch gave him a faint smile and said his last words to Suzaku before he became Zero forever.

"Don't I at least get a goodbye kiss?"

"…Yes, Your Majesty."

15.

_Parties are so boring_, a certain black-haired Brittanian thought to himself as he swirled his drink around in its glass. The student council was throwing another party for some event or another, most likely due to a recent sports victory.

The only reason he came to this thing was to dance with Suzaku, who had yet to show up.

Finally the Japanese boy showed up, looking rather dashing in a suit. Lelouch beamed and walked up to him, straightening his own tie. "Ready to dance?"

16.

He had lost everything. The only thing he had left was the curse and the identity that Lelouch had left him. At the moment, he was nothing but a shell of what had once been Suzaku Kururugi. In the two years since the Zero Requiem, Suzaku had changed a bit. His hair, slightly longer than before but not much, almost hung in his eyes. The boyish sparkle in his emerald eyes was gone forever.

The almost constant grin on his face was no more. Of course, it had faltered a bit when Euphie had died, but it always came back, because he had something to smile for. Lelouch. His Lelouch. The boy he loved who had given himself up to end the chain of hatred.

Currently, Suzaku was hanging around in a shabby looking bar in the not-so-nice part of town. Even though it was loud, it was good that no one noticed him here, and he was pretty much left well enough alone. Usually, he just sat down at a table in the corner and stared down at nothing, maybe a drink in hand. But today, he looked up and around at the people. He didn't know why, but he felt as if some force was compelling him to.

Suddenly, his eyes fell on a very familiar-looking black head of hair. Time seemed to stop, and he could hear his heart beating. He got up quickly, almost knocking over his drink. The black-haired man was leaving now. Suzaku couldn't miss this chance. He half ran, half stumbled past other people, pushing them out of the way if necessary.

"Lelouch!" He called out, hoping, hoping desperately, that somehow he hadn't lost him, somehow he hadn't stabbed him, somehow his lover was still alive.

But the figure just kept on walking on, the same way Lelouch always had. He was walking with just a slight air of smugness, but a likeable smugness.

Suzaku stopped going after him and watch him walk down the street and turn a corner, going into the silent night. He had missed his chance to see his face and know for sure, but for some reason he didn't have to. He may have been wrong, but just that instance of seeing the person whom he was sure was Lelouch, was enough for him to keep going until the end of his days.

17.

Suzaku couldn't cook. That was simply the bottom line. But Lelouch could never find the heart to tell him. Especially when he was sick, and Suzaku would come over to make soup for him. He always over cooked it or under cooked it. Lelouch would take a sip and politely decline the rest, claiming that his stomach wasn't feeling that great.

"Oh, okay," Suzaku would reply, and take the plate away. "Can I get you anything else?"

"No thanks," Lelouch would always say. Then he would go lie down on the couch and rest with Suzaku just by his side. That was really all his boyfriend had to do to make him feel better, but the eleven would always insist that he did something else, like try making another food item, like rice. He couldn't even cook _that._ He always left it in the water for too long, and then it got all mushy. Once again, Lelouch wouldn't eat. He would just tell him that he was fine by himself, and Suzaku should just go back to school or to Lloyd or Cecile.

"You sure you don't need anything else? I could make some pasta, or-" Lelouch started to close the door on him. "No, I'm really fine. Thanks again." He shut the door and immediately went to the kitchen to make himself something.

18.

The bored emperor sat upon his throne near the front of the ballroom, watching his guests dance. He knew he was in a room full of people that hated him, save for his Knight, who was standing next to him.

But did Suzaku hate him now? It was hard to tell. What about all those times before, when he would say that he loved him over and over again? He never said that anymore. His currently emotionless green eyes stared forward, probably thinking about what he would have to do in approximately one month.

"Suzaku." He saw the others head turn towards him. "Yes, Your Majesty?"

Lelouch gave him a half-smile. "Go dance with someone, enjoy yourself." The Knight of Zero blinked. "I'd rather not. There are only two people I'd like to dance with right now, and I can't with either."

Now it was Lelouch's turn to blink, confused. "And who would those people be?"

Suzaku sighed. "One of them is no longer alive, and the other is sitting right next to me."

19.

The thunder clapped, much too loud and much too close. The 10-year-old Lelouch shut his eyes tightly and covered his ears with his hands.

"Afraid of thunderstorms?" He heard the familiar voice of the Kururugi boy who had become his friend. Lelouch looked up, his large purple eyes glaring. "No I'm not." Suzaku just grinned and sat down next to him. "Then why do you look so scared?" he had obviously been walking out in the storm to come visit his friend, as his messy brown hair was wet and dripping.

Lelouch didn't answer his question, and instead opted to change the subject. "Did you really walk all this way to just come to me?"

The other boy shrugged. "Yup. I thought you might want some company." The Brittanian prince couldn't help but smile. "Thanks." His little smile was quickly gone when another flash of white lightning made him gasp and bury himself in Suzaku's shirt. He felt the Japanese laughing but wrap his arms around him. "It's okay. If any scary lightning monster comes in, I'll protect you."

"_I am his sword. I will slash away his enemies and his weaknesses."_

2O.

Suzaku frowned. "Lelouch? What's wrong with you?" He had found his mortal enemy, who was currently clinging to the front of his Knight of Rounds uniform, in a dingy building in the Shinjuku ghetto. Lelouch's breathing was shallow, and there were uncontrolled tears streaming from his eyes.

Lelouch's arms wrapped around him, but Suzaku didn't hug him back. "Suzaku, why did they shoot my mom?"

The knight stiffened. So he had regained his memories. But why would he ask him that question? This behavior was so unlike Lelouch. As his eyes wandered, they set upon the answer to his question. There was a bottle of Refrain, frighteningly empty. Lelouch's grip felt weak. Suzaku, disgusted, shoved him off, letting the other fall to the floor in a sad heap, looking up at him with an unattached gaze. "Why would you do that?" He started to yell now, repulsed and saddened by Lelouch's actions. He felt the tears coming now, but it didn't matter. His former lover was too far gone to notice.


	3. Chapter 3

21.

To Rivalz, it didn't _really_ matter that his two best friends were gay for each other. Well, it was a little weird sometimes, and occasionally made him uncomfortable. Now was one of those times.

"Hey, guys, Madame President says that-" The blue-haired boy stopped short, mouth wide open, staring at Lelouch and Suzaku. Suzaku was half naked, with Lelouch straddling him on a chair in the student council room. Both of them were looking at him guiltily.

From then on, Rivalz decided to never leave those two alone when they were at school.

22.

Suzaku frowned and crossed off "chocolate" from his list. Lelouch had never really liked sweets. He was proving to be very difficult to find a Valentine's Day gift for.

"What are you doing?" Cecile's gentle voice came from his right.

"Oh…just…trying to decide on a Valentine's gift for-"

Cecile grinned happily. "Oh, for your girlfriend?" She looked very excited. Suzaku gave a weak smile. "Well, something like that-"

Cecile cut him off again. "Well, I think flowers and a nice dinner out would be a great gift. It's so romantic…"

"Or, you could just skip all of that and have sex." Lloyd suddenly appeared, suggesting his idea of Valentine's Day. Suzaku's grin widened. That was so like Lelouch. His boyfriend probably wouldn't like any fancy gifts, he would most likely just want sex. "That's a great idea. Thanks, Lloyd!" The eleven rushed off, since his duties as ASEEC were done for the day.

Cecile just stared after him, unbelieving. Her stare turned into a glare of rage, directed at Lloyd, who was grinning triumphantly. "You're a horrible person, you know that?"

23.

Lelouch scowled. He was not happy. He was not having fun. And he certainly didn't want to go sledding, like Suzaku was currently proposing they should.

"Come _on,_ Lu," he used his pet name for Lelouch. "It'll be fun! I promise!"

"No."

"The hill is clear, we won't crash into anything!"

"No."

"…I'll let you be on top for a week if you just-"

Lelouch got an almost scary smile on his face and jumped into the toboggan sled. "What are you waiting for, Suzaku? Let's go!"

Suzaku inwardly groaned. What had he gotten himself into?

24.

Suzaku had decided that Euphie and Lelouch were both very different during sex. Euphie made girly, quiet sounds. She smelled like flowers, and liked to do everything very gently. She loved to just lie in bed with Suzaku after they were finished.

Lelouch was on the complete other end of the spectrum.

He emitted low, sexy moans that never failed to make Suzaku want him even more. He had no interest in gentle sex, he just wanted to forget about everything else and that was all.

In the end, Suzaku wanted to say he enjoyed being with Euphie more. But deep inside, he knew he would always favor Lelouch.

**A/N- Wow, I haven't done an authors note for this story. Well, this chapter is a little short, but I just wanted to put something out. **

**I noticed a lot of you have added it to favorites and alerts, but no reviews ^.^**

**Feedback is always good, and it makes me write faster!**

**If reviews are favorable, more will come.**


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